 What Do We Mean by "Detachment with Love"?
The idea of detachment can be one of the most challenging and difficult to understand ideas that Al-Anon offers us. It may sound like we are supposed to abandon the people we love because of their alcoholism. Are we supposed to just stop caring?
Al-Anon's most comprehensive book about our program, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics (B-22), presents the shared wisdom of Al-Anon members on every aspect of the Al-Anon program. Chapter 11, "Detachment, Love, and Forgiveness," provides a thorough, in depth discussion of what we mean in Al-Anon by "detachment with love." It also provides insight on Al-Anon's interpretation of forgiveness.
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"By seeing the person as separate from the disease, by detaching, we can stop being hurt by groundless insults or angered by outrageous lies. If we can learn to step back from alcoholism's symptoms and effects just as we would from the sneezing of a person with a cold, we will no longer have to take those effects to heart."
From How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics, page 84 |
Other Al-Anon literature that discusses detachment includes:
• Detachment (S-19)
• Living with Sobriety (P-49), pages 9-17
• Alateen Talks Back on Detachment (P-73)
• Lois Remembers (B-7), pages 189-190
• Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions (B-8), pages 7-11
• From Survival to Recovery (B-21), pages 55, 84-85, 111-13
• ...In All Our Affairs—Making Crises Work for You (B-15), pages 73, 76, 199-201 |
